Summary: Many leaders aren’t aware when they’re using emotionally dismissive and potentially harmful language with their employees. Most of the time, unintentionally dismissive language comes from a place of caring. Leaders want to support the person, to help them move through their issue, to minimize their pain. Sometimes in an attempt to minimize the pain, they minimize the person as well. On the other hand, some leaders believe that emotions don’t belong in the workplace. The past two years of compounding emotional strain have made it increasingly clear that managers need to shift their focus to meeting and supporting employees’ emotional well-being. It’s no longer enough to simply provide the operational tools and resources for your team to function — you also need to create psychological safety for them to thrive. That means getting comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations. The author presents six ways for managers to be supportive when someone shares an emotional situation or challenge.
The past two years of compounding emotional strain have made it increasingly clear that managers need to shift their focus to meeting and supporting employees’ emotional well-being. It’s no longer enough to simply provide the operational tools and resources for your team to function — you also need to create psychological safety for them to thrive. That means getting comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations.
It can be hard to know the right thing to say when someone discloses something painful or emotional to you. For example, one of our clients, Evie,* an IT manager, suffered through a miscarriage while working from home a few years ago. Her boss, Mike,* could tell something was off and called her to check in and see how she was feeling. When he called, she knew she couldn’t lie, so she took a deep, courageous breath and shared, “You know, to be completely transparent with you, I want to let you know I am currently experiencing a miscarriage and really struggling with that … mentally and physically.” Mike was silent for an extended period before finally saying, “Well … do what you need to do,” and quickly ending the phone call. Mike’s reaction has stuck with Evie to this day, years later. In a moment of loss and suffering, she felt entirely unsupported. Was this his intention? No, but it was his impact.
As leaders, it’s imperative that we take the time to learn how to show up for our employees, no matter how uncomfortable the situations they face may be for us. In order for productivity and innovation to thrive, we need to create environments where the team members we serve can thrive. Kelly Greenwood and Julia Anas, who surveyed 1,500 U.S. adults in full-time jobs, outline the benefits of supporting employee mental health in their article “It’s a New Era for Mental Health at Work.” They write:…
